happy birthday.

Dear Sean,

It's your birthday here on earth today and we had such a beautiful day in Seoul. The rain last night cleared up, the sun was out, and the sky was actually blue.

Disappointingly, I didn't get to do anything special for your birthday today. Thought of going to the river and empty a couple bottles of beer for you, then again, I had teaching tonight and couldn't find the time. On the way home, I was listening to our music, thought of our time together, and your last birthday we spent together. I can't believe four years has passed already.

Thinking of you on your birthday and wanted to let you know once again that I'm so grateful that I had you in my life and that I am a different person now through the time I spent with you. You helped me to find who I am and what love is.

Hope that you had some good pint of Guinness and good Indian food with some good friends and monkeys. I miss you so much. Happy birthday, sweetheart.

Love,

YoungDoo

summer love

I had a wonderful Sunday photo-shooting session with my beautiful friend Monika & her husband, Teemu, at Namsan Park. This is the first draft out of so many shots.

Special thanks to Dave for lending me D200 & the wonderful lens.

harry

I listened to Harry Connick Jr. when I was in high school. Harry has his concert in Seoul and my friends and I went. Harry's a great singer, wonderful dancer, and such a funny guy on the stage. Never really paid attention to the lyric of When I fall in Love until Harry sang it tonight. It reminded me of my love, my love of life.

When I fall in love
It will be forever
Or I'll never fall in love

In a restless world like this is
Love is ended before it's begun
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun

When I give my heart
I give it completely
Or I'll never give my heart

And the moment I can feel that
you feel that way too
Is when I fall in love with you

three years.

It's Sean's three years' anniversary today. For the past a couple of days, my mind has been lingering around today of three years ago. So, grieving was allowed...

Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

- And Death Shall Have No Dominion by Dylan Thomas

tuesday people

I picked up a book at a book store during lunch hour yesterday. I started reading it since last night and went through almost half of it already. ‘Tueadays with Morrie’ by Mitch Albom - it’s the book I started reading a couple years ago but never got to finish reading and it’s the book I sent to Sean when he was away. I think I also sent him ‘Me Talk Pretty One Day’ by David Sedaris.

When I had a lot of time in my hands early of this year in Vancouver, I spent a lot of time at bookstores… mainly Chapters on Robson & Hornby and Book Warehouse in Yaletown. I liked Warehouse in Yaletown better because they always had nice Jazz music on and that always helped me taking enough time and finding good books to read. I picked up ‘The Five People You Meet in Heaven’ by Mitch Albom there. I’d never heard of the book before but had a feeling that I would enjoy reading. I enjoyed reading it and it helped me crying. Life and death… especially death, how many people at my age would think so much about it unless they lost someone very close to them. Everyday, every hour, every minute, and every second for the past year, I was never free from the thoughts of life in connection to death.

People tell me time heals the wound. Did I ever believe what they say? Did I ever want to believe? Now I realize it’s love I had for Sean that makes my heart ache. It’s the love, it’s the memory, it’s the connection, and it’s the yearning. I don’t know what comforting words ‘Tueadays with Morrie’ would give me as I went through only half of it… but I know it already talks about something that I’ve been thinking about a lot for a long time… but never really got around to put them into words. It feels like I met a friend who shares similiar view point on life.